Good Sex Advice

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What is the reason of this sudden decrease in his sex drive?
Me and my bf are together for a couple of years and we live in different cities, see each other once in 2-3 months approximately. We were actually sleeping together for longer time, but he used to come onto surface and we haven't have any intercourse until last November. 3 months ago we have had sex only in a night and we were both virgins, it was the first time for both of us. Than we haven't seen each other for a long time and last week we were together for like 6 days. We have tried to get an intercourse again right away in first 3 days, and he came real quick, but tried his best to continue. 4th day, he was real exhausted and said he wants to skip the day. We have had sex anyway but it was like he was doing it because I wanted him to. It was much more intense and full of joy in first 3 days. But in last 3, I felt like I was losing my touch. He always been really ambitious even when we weren't getting intercourse, but now he exactly didn't want to do it as much. He used to take his time to get me aroused but he did take the foreplay real quick. Also, last 3 days he regretted to get into me and stayed on the surface again, I said I would be more pleased if he does but he didn't. I am not familiar with this stuff. I talked to him about his and he said he got very tired and we should have skipped a day or two. But, he thinks there was no reason that he didn't get into me, that he just didn't preferred to. I actually wanted to do it real often cause we aren't going to b able to do so for a long time and imagined that it would be more intense. So, did I expected too much from him when I wanted to do it every day? Could there be a reason why he didn't want to came into me again? What should I do about whole situation?

Thank you

Oral Sex
I enjoy giving head to my partners.  And in the past I've had an easy time getting someone off with it.  However, that is not the case in my current relationship.

The guy that I'm seeing right now has a very sensitive head and it doesn't take a lot of simulation to become too much for him.  In the past, that is where I have focused most of my attention.  We've tried oral a handful of times, but it has only been moderately successful.

My question is whether anyone has any useful tips on how to handle a penis with a sensitive head.  Are there certain techniques or areas to focus on that might be more enjoyable with him?

We're working on this together, but I would like to bring something more to the table the next time around rather than going with our haphazard approach. 

I need help with my sex life!
Ok so I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months now and we love each other very much but there is a problem with the sex. Every time we try to have sex it is so painful. We use lube. I don't know if it's because I'm too tight or he's too big or if maybe he isn't doing enough foreplay to warm me up. He has expressed that he is frustrated and I am too! Sometimes I just drink a lot and that helps a bit. He suggested I buy some kind of numbing spray but I don't know if that is a good idea. I want sex to be enjoyable and fun again. Please help me as I'm really unhappy right now.

an introduction, and free stuff!
Hello! My name is Sarah, and I'm a twice-published rabble-rousing feminist ex-sex worker, currently penning a free sex advice column for

I want to invite anyone seeking advice about sex to write me at sarahatxtoysusadotcom. Every week I get to pick a winning question, and the author of that question gets a free toy (value up to $75) from and an autographed author's copy of my latest book, Sex & Bacon: Why I Love Things That Are Very, Very Bad For Me (Seal, 2008).

This is a really cool promotion and I have no idea how long XToys is going to let me do the contest, but I love giving stuff away almost as much as I love handing out good sex advice, so get your questions in and let me reward you with personally-tailored answers and free swag! I'm queer/kink/trans-friendly, so don't be scared if you're into the freaky shit. I'm about as vanilla as Moose Tracks ice cream myself.

This LJ is for my column so I don't have any entries up yet, but I'm no sock-puppet--if you want to check out my personal account, I'm atmarkedformetal

Thank you, and let me leave you with the most recent winning question:

Q: After an achingly long separation, I'll soon be meeting up with my girlfriend with hopes of giving her the physical worshiping she dearly deserves. Here's the thing, though...she says that after foreplay she gets off mainly on penetration, and though I've done as much prepping as I can in finding a strap-on she'd like, my only real experiences in penetration were two guys that never really got it right for me.

What advice can you give a girl with a first-time silicone appendage who's only ever been on the receiving end? Thrust with the hips or the abs? What if she's on top? Practice into pillows? How the hell do I steer this thing???

(My answer here.)

(no subject)
So, if you've stumbled across this community, good for you.

Just a couple of quick rules.

1 - Please, no flaming. Don't make fun of somebody else's sexual practices. Constructive critisism is fine, even encouraged, but flat out flaming without any sort of meaning attached is entirely forbidden.

2 - Try to put as much information in your post as possible. "Can you help me with oral sex"  or a similar question likely won't yield you the results you desire. Try to add some detail. Describe the problem as fully as you can.

Thanks. ^^


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